Cosmological Dark Matter: a Review (the April Fool Edition)

Evidence has continued to accumulate over the last few decades as to the existence and nature of dark matter. Depending on the particle candidate, the dark matter can exhibit one of several cosmologically defined models: hot dark matter, cold dark matter, warm dark matter, self-interacting dark matter, and fuzzy dark matter. In this paper I review the relevance and status of these models, whether it is possible for more than one of these models to each constitute some fraction of the dark matter, and discuss the prospects for determining if any of these models can successfully describe the properties and evolution of our own Universe.