Supersymmetry in Slow Motion

We construct new theories of electroweak symmetry breaking that employ a combination of supersymmetry and discrete symmetries to stabilize the weak scale up to and beyond the energies probed by the LHC. These models exhibit conventional supersymmetric spectra but the fermion-sfermion-gaugino vertices are absent. This closes many conventional decay channels, thereby allowing several superpartners to be stable on collider time scales. This opens the door to the possibility of directly observing R-hadrons and three flavors of sleptons inside the LHC detectors.